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DISCUSSING
VIOLENCE
By Theresa Salk
A discussion group was held on Tuesday,
August 3rd, 1999. Ellis Enlow was nice enough to hold it at her
home with her little puppy "Summer" as the guest star. The group
topic was on violence.
After the Littleton, Colorado, Columbine
High School shootings, and more recently the senseless shootings
at the Jewish Community center in Granada Hills, many parents were
concerned about the safety of their children. Ever since the Littleton
shootings, there are still residual feelings hanging onto most of
us. Many articles were generated on violence and the preschool child.
Cathy has researched this subject and has come up with some interesting
ideas.
To begin with, we need to understand
the thought process of a child. Below is a list of ways three- to
six-year-old children learn:
- They
focus on drama.
- Children
don't always distinguish between pretend and reality.
- They
focus on concrete things (guns, a brick being thrown at a wall
or hitting someone).
- Children
don't make logical connections.
- They
can only focus on one activity at a time.
- Children
think in terms of "all or nothing."
Keeping
in mind the thought process of a child, three of the topics we discussed
are as follows:
Media
A
large part of our society involves the media. The media consists
of television, movies, computer games, and the internet. These mediums
influence our children. It is how we control the influence that
is imperative.
Exposure: Kids are being bombarded
with misleading images in commercials. These mediums often make
fun of others by using race, gender, culture, and special needs
children. Out of ten commercials, eight use these negative images.
Children are being exposed to inappropriate ways of dealing with
other people.
If you allow your children to watch
TV, at least set limits on how long they watch it. Be involved.
Watch TV with your children so they have an opportunity to discuss
what they see.
There are alternatives to television
as a way to fill your child's time. Get books out or have the child
play quietly in his/her room with toys. You will be amazed how quickly
they get involved in a new activity.
Anger
Another important aspect of the discussion
was how to help our children handle anger:
Have them use their words to express
their feelings. If they are upset with someone, allow them to voice
their anger. Helping children deal with these feelings in socially
acceptable ways is a very positive step towards a less violent child.
Give them physical outlets without hurting anyone.
For
example, they could punch a couch or have dolls fight it out. There
is a difference between venting and actually hurting somebody. Incorporate
ways of dealing with anger and frustration into play. This is a
simple but effective way of teaching your child how to deal with
these emotions.
Family Values
Values differ from family to family.
Instill these values in a way that is comfortable for you. It is
important to give your child limits. These limits give your child
security in knowing that this is how things go at our house.
Be
an active participant in your child's life by being interactive
with him/her. The most important part in the whole scenario is to
love and respect your child for the little wonder they are and to
provide a wholesome environment for them.
There was talk of continuing this
discussion in the near future. This topic is of great interest and
concern to many parents in the school.
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